If forgiveness is our deepest need why press the wounds to bleed?
Are we brave enough to give?
Are we dead enough to live beyond ourselves and to breath...
for something higher than this?"
Brave Enough by The Other Mark Miller
So here finally I post something about what I am learning from my experience from Japan. So much has been going on and I hope that if you want to know more details you will ask me for my prayer requests. (I just sent out the latest prayer requests so if you would like to receive them and have not for some reason contact me please) (email is courtney.dusenbury@mavs.uta.edu)
God is showing me how selfish I really am. Because I am in an environment where I am constantly poring out to others I have come to realize just how much I feel it should be all about me. I just simply didn't realize the huge issue and burden that comes when I think I need to be satisfied with how my day is going or I can't possibly be joyful. Reality is when you are serving Christ by serving others you may end up doing things you don't enjoy. You might even have days where it seems like nothing is going right. (Aka your way) Since Christ tells us to pick up our cross daily and follow Him then I think it's best to assume this is not sunshine and roses that we are walking into. It's hard and many times painful work, but oh, what joy can come from it!
Trust has also been such a huge thing on this trip for me. I have been asking God to help me trust Him for awhile now. I really upon my own abilities so much that I leave little room for Christ to empower me. It is hard for me to believe that He will always give me what I need and will not forsake me throughout my daily life. This trip is teaching me that I have very little actual control.
Being taken away from your own "little world" can do that.
I have seen God be faithful it in the times I have witnessed to others, giving me words to teach and share. I have seen God be faithful with helping me get through difficult days. Days when I felt like I just did not have anything left. He has given Bible verses to encourage and strengthen me, love from others when I was in need, and enabled me to agape love.
Life here is very busy. But when the time comes for me to go home for the night I sometime have a lot of time to think. It is good for me to once again realize that I need to submit myself over to God. That I can't possibly have control over all the situations going on in my own life as well as other people I encounter.
Being willing to say once again "Lord, whatever you have for my life, well... I want that."
And now I am having to trust God once again as I make my trip back home. Trust that he knows and understands my needs and wants better than I do. That He is my heavenly father who will love and keep me in His hands.
These beautiful pictures from the cafe are a reminder of God's faithfulness. He brought me here. He got me this far, of course He is going to take me to the finish line! Whatever direction my life ends up going, I know He will be with me. If there is just one thing that I could take away from this trip it would be that God is trustworthy.
And give thanks to His holy name.
For His anger is but for a moment,
His favor is for a lifetime;
Weeping may last for the night,
But a shout of joy comes in the morning.
Psalm 30: 4-5
There has been much weeping, but also much joy. Thank you Jesus!
